SCHOOL’S OUT FOR THE SUMMER! SCHOOL’S OUT FOREVER! SCHOOOOL’S BEEN BLOWN TO PIECES! NO MORE PENCILS, NO MORE BOOKS! NO MORE TEACHER’S DIRTY LOOKS, YEEEEEAAAAAH!

Don’t worry I haven’t gone insane. (Yet.) Eight days ago school ended. ( Yes that statement was correct and my last day of school was on July 16th.) Last year we went to get ice cream and my dad blasted SCHOOL’S OUT by Alice Cooper on the speakers and the tradition continued this year. Surprisingly, it was one of many national ice cream days over the last week and we helped ourselves to a bowl of Mint Chip and Cookies and Cream. So my reaction was pretty much this:

Now for the birthday. If you read the title, this topic is next. My Grandpa turned 74 a few days ago! He is smart, funny, and really likes red jelly beans. He has traveled all over Africa and photographed some amazing things, he was the food critic for Canada’s largest newspaper (he used to live in Toronto), and he created thousands of food products.

Doc really loves Poppy! (Note the 2 photos of them. Adorable, right!) Doc wanted to wish him a very happy birthday!

Poppy, I wish you the best on your special day!

Now… ORIGAMI. It may seem weird and nerdy but I found an awesome origami blog that I totally recommend. Just look up: Origami-Instructions.com! There is a cool star video for an Origami Lucky Star. If you want to check that out this is the link: http://www.origami-instructions.com/origami-lucky-star.html.

This post WAS about to end but it seems pretty short so I think I am going to add one of the best things you will ever see. The first one is the short version and the second is a longer one. YOU WILL NOT REGRET THIS!

This is super funny and all of you should take a second to thank my dad for showing me this, because I swear this video is entertainment for hours on end. And I am very aware that the longest version is only 3 minutes.

I wish you the best on (insert holiday here)!

-Grace

P.S. I just learned about a thing called Squishmallows. They are apparently super amazing for sleeping. A friend told me that the 16” ones are TO DIE FOR! This is a link to the website. They are really cute!

Squishmallows website!

Good bye for real!

-Grace

Hi! I’m sorry that I haven’t blogged in a little while. I think I should do a summary on what happened over the last week. Sit tight. It’s gonna be a while. Last week this is what happened: Nothing.

Except for the Hamilton movie. It was great! Now, I would love to go on and on about every little freaking detail but spoiling it wouldn’t be much fun!

Here is the trailer for the weirdos that haven’t seen it yet:

And because I am super good at transitioning from one topic to another… BOOM TOPIC SWITCH! YOU JUST GOT FREAKING TOPIC SWITCHED!

It’s time for…

Funny Childhood Stories With Grace!

When I was six and living in California my Grandma, whom I call Nana, walked with me while I biked in our neighborhood. My bike had training wheels and Nana was walking behind me. A few minutes into the adventure I tried to explain to her the direction we had come from and where we were heading. (Remember, I was six!) I told my Grandma the following sentence, which she wrote down immediately and to this day has reminded me every week of my exact words:

Grace: “Nana, can I tell you something?”

Nana: “Yes.”

Grace: (Pointing backward with her finger) That side leads to where we just were… (Switches to pointing forward) and that side leads to where we DON’T were!”

Nana: (Furiously types it on her phone to remind Grace of that exact quote every day of her life and to call Grace’s parents and tell them how spectacular their daughter is so THEY can remind her of that quote every day of her life as well .)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I know, I know. Super funny. Good grammar is important, kids. Remember that.

Oh My Gosh! Wait a second. What’s that? Don’t you hear it? I think I hear A TRANSITION coming on!

This time it is about a super cool new game that is supremely awesome and addictive!

It is a game called TallyUP! and it is super fun! Only 17 and older can play so if you are a kid I suggest telling your parents about it so they can play. You can win actual money! There are 3 games that are each super fun and silly in their own way. You can get it on an Android or Apple device on phone or tablet. My dad loves this game. My Uncle made this game with a team of people that worked super hard to create this and when you try to stop, whether it’s time for dinner or (as a parent) are hiding in your bathroom because your kids are annoying and you needed a break to play your all-time favorite game, I can almost guarantee that you will love it!

These are some pictures from when my dad played:

I hope all of you take me seriously enough to believe how good great this game is. It is even greater than getting TOPIC SWITCHED! That’s right. It’s topic switching time!

Haircuts! Hazel and I both got bobs and Kevin is super mad that we chose bob over him. These are the pictures!

I have to go now. Doc is awake and he isn’t old enough to play TallyUP! to calm him down. I am willing to bet some full on screaming in a few minutes.

Yours Truly,

Grace

I would like to start off by saying that this is sort of a mini post. I only have one topic today but there is an important thing happening and I can’t wait until next week to write about it.

My two good friends, Anna and Gabi, have a birthday today, on the same day, and Doc has something to say about it.

A note to Anna and Gabi- You guys are 12 today! You are such good friends of mine and I can’t wait until the end of quarantine so I can strangle you in birthday hugs. You guys are funny, weird, smart, and kind.

I wish you the best on your special day!

-Grace

To all you fathers out there: HAPPY FATHER’S DAY!

We at the Topliff household had a wonderful Father’s Day. We started out by giving Dad the shirts with the cheesy puns that we got for him. From the moment Doc woke up we were teaching him how to say “Happy Father’s Day!” and “I love you, Daddy!” By the time he was in our parent’s bedroom, where we traditionally open gifts, start out holidays, and whatnot, he could say Happy Fathers Day right on cue, no questions asked.

We also got to eat some delicious bacon, eggs, and hashbrowns.

I think I forgot to mention the cards that we gave my dad. Unfortunately, I don’t have a photo of Hazel or my mom’s card, but I do have one of mine. And let me say, I am pretty proud of it.

Later, we sat outside with our friend Shannon. (We call her Noni due to the name Doc thought he heard when he and Shannon Noni first met.) Noni has 2 dogs, Rocco and Orie, who are basically Millie and Scruffy’s best friends.

We talked while the dogs played, and after that we watched tv. So exciting, I know. For a while we watched Gilmore Girls (a really funny show that I recommend to everyone), and after a few episodes, in true Topliff fashion, we did chores. (Yes you heard that correctly, on Father’s Day we did chores.) Dad mowed the lawn, Hazel and Doc played sprayed each other with the hose, (SOMEONE had to keep Doc busy), who knows what mom was doing, and I cleaned the downstairs areas. It doesn’t sound like a lot of fun but, overall, Father’s Day was a blast. For dinner Mom made a special shrimp dish, and I made a great apple pie. It. Was. So. Freaking. Delicious.

Doc had so much fun running around in the backyard after dinner! He loved Father’s Day so much! We ran in the grass for over an hour. We played tag, catch, and tickle hit Grace and Hazel with a stick, all of his favorite games. I hope all of you who are reading this post had as much fun on Father’s Day as we did. I can’t wait for the next one in 362 days!

-Grace

Okay, first up on the docket, Doc-ket (hee hee). He has been more cute (if possible), and has been out in the rain several times with Kim, his nanny.

Next up is…(great job on the transition, Grace! Why thank you innerself!) Hazel! You haven’t heard from her in a while but BIG news!!! BRACES! Now because I am possibly the best big sister ever you guys can 100% feel free to send in videos of you guys eating popcorn, caramel, Laffy Taffy, apples, celery, anything she can’t eat. She is watching me over my shoulder with an appreciative scowl on her face. You’re welcome Hazel!

Now for the best thing in the freaking world! Possibly better than Zoolander! (Which by the way is almost impossible)!

As my blog readers, I would like to share a famous family recipe that has been in our family for generations. It is the perfect blend of crunchy, and smooth, with the perfect sauce to go with it. It is simple but complicated, perfect but perfect. The recipe name is Grilly Willy Special. Old Mother Grilly Willy was one of the first Topliffs, and using unexpected ingredients for the time, created a tasty masterpiece. It is a party within your mouth. These are the directions:

Like I said, delicious. Anyway, I have to go. We are getting bacon and I have a theory that the peanut butter and pancakes won’t be far behind….

-Grace

Okay. First off: Pirates. Can’t live with ’em, can’t live without ’em.

Doc is obessed.There is no other way to put it. He is armed with a pirate raincoat, pirate rain boots, pirate legos, pirate tv shows, and pirate maps. If it has anything to do with pirates, Doc is your guy. (Please note:we do not own parrots. Due to lack of crackers in the Topliff household it does not meet all of the requirements in the Pirate Parrot Code of Conduct Rulebook. Page: 13 Paragraph: 2 Line: 4, if you were wondering.)

Did I mention Doc loves Pirates? No? Well, Doc loves Pirates. He loves GEASHURE maps, too! And no, not TREASURE maps. Geashure maps. There is a difference, I mean, come on! (I really don’t think there is a difference, but Doc insists!) I recently made him a pirate map that he went crazy over. The only thing I heard for the next two days were: Gacie have Geashure Map? Find Geashure box wiff Gacie?

Millie also likes Geashure maps, she thinks they make good chew toys.

Speaking of Millie, she has been super cute this past week!

From sleeping in our parents bed:

To snuggling with my mom during movie night:

She has been so sweet! I remember when we first got her! (She came from a litter of 10!)

She stood out like a Millie in a crowd of Scruffys.

I remember seeing her for the first time like it was yesterday…

She had such a pink nose, and from them moment Scruffy saw her he new, right then and there, that he was going to be the most annoying brother ever.

Nothing like 1 toddler, a hyper puppy, and a resource hog-dog in quarantine, am I right or am I right!

In other news, I haven’t told my daily embarrassing Topliff family lifestyle story yet! This week’s topic…

HALLOWEEN COSTUMES!!! Every year for many years my mom made our costumes. And we WEREN’T allowed to be characters from books or movies. That was my fault. At my friend’s birthday party, when I was 4, I got a t-shirt with the Frozen characters. My parents had to fight me to take it off! So from then on my parents expected a crazy brawl if any character outfit whatsoever got into me or my sibling’s grasp. Basically, no characters. We came up with some pretty ingenious ideas…. These are all of the halloween costume photos we could find of me. (My family members are in a lot of them.) I am missing the 2016 halloween costume photo.

That was almost all of the costumes throughout my lifetime. Twelve years of great ideas and free candy! This next costume isn’t of me but I’m going to assume that it is quite the crowd pleaser!

I have to go, but it has been fun reliving all of those moments with you!

Happy (very early) Halloween!

-Grace

During quarantine a lot of people have been eating more. In fact, studies show that when a human eats their regular serving of food a day, then suddenly eat double that… You know what, I’m not gonna make you go through that. On with the embarrassing blog posts of my life.

Well first off, I’d like to share what has been on the Topliff Menu these past weeks. (Keep in mind that this is opposite week.) We have been eating spinach, artichokes, kale, all that good stuff.

You don’t believe me? Well see for yourself…

(Please note that the delectable image on the top is a fine example of the delicious peanut butter and apple appetizer.) Doc seems to wildly enjoy our menu. Speaking of Doc, here is the latest Doc update:

Also, a few nights ago, I heard what may have been the funniest Grace-as-a-baby-story ever. Even thinking about it makes me crack up. When I heard the story I actually CRIED, it was so funny!

It all started when I was on my small play structure (this was when I lived in California and loved to play on my small rinky dink plastic play structure. Small backstory: I went to a little preschool called Bright Beginnings, where they taught the basics for Spanish, and as a 2 or 3 year old I was okay at it. I remembered lots of small words in Spanish). So I was playing on my play structure and I kept saying ayúdame (eye-u-da-may) over and over and over again. My parents were inside and thought, awwwww, Grace has an imaginary friend named ayúdame, how cute. Then my parents came outside to see me play. But funny thing how ayúdame means help me in Spanish. My boot got stuck on the play structure and I couldn’t pull it free so I was using the word I had learned to call for help but they didn’t understand the call because they don’t come to preschool with me so none of them knew Spanish and didn’t come out to help poor little Grace with her “imaginary friend” named ayúdame. 🙁

But enough about me. It is time to say NO to everything because it is… say NO day!!!

(Now you may be wondering, says who? I can say yes if I want. Well, says Doc.)

HAPPY SAY NO DAY!!!!!!!!!

I am so sorry that we have to spent this joyous holiday in quarantine but I do hope you do something fun to celebrate this week. In fact, that is your homework for this week: do something fun, go on a walk, annoy your parents to death, watch a family show, annoy your parents to death, any of those fun things. I encourage you to try all of them.

Anyway. Quarantine has been tough. And sometimes you feel like this:

Or this:

Or even sometimes this:

Sometimes you even feel like all of them at the same time. (I’m talking about me.)

And though I am sad to end this post, I have to go. I really need to pack!

We’re going to Hawaii for vacation!

JUST KIDDING! I wish : ( See you next time.

-Grace

I bet you can guess what this post is going to be about!

HOW TO MAKE THE WORLD’S BEST CARROT CAKE

Haha. just kidding. That’s right, the Topliff Hall of Fame for worst injuries! who will go first?

Hmmm…

Let’s see. How about Doc.

My dad was bathing Doc and I was sitting next to my dad, asking him a few questions for a school project. My dad was in the middle of answering my question when we heard a splash followed by a wail. We turned and saw that Doc had slipped in the bathtub and bit his lip. We took him out of the water and carried him down in a bundle of towels and blankets. Three episodes of Sesame Street and one oversized ice pack later the incident had been forgotten. (At least by Doc.) To this day we keep in mind the consequences of not paying 100% attention to the two-year-old with the wild gleam in his eye.

And next up…

(Brace yourself)

Me!

I was at our swim club, Hazel was doing with her swimming lesson and I was done with mine. I was too small for the big water slide but too big for the small one. With nothing to do I decided to go on the slide that was too small. (At this point you may be feeling like this is a recap of Goldilocks and the Three Bears, but hang in there, you’ll see!) When I was halfway down the slide, a toddler decided to pass the bottom of it, and if I kept sliding, I would have knocked her down. So as the kind and courteous six-year-old I was, I let her pass. The kid behind me was starting to get impatient and slid down while I was waiting for the toddler. I hit the bottom of the 1-1/2-foot deep pool and bit through my lip. Which led to an adrenaline-fueled drive to Urgent Care. Urgent care turned into the ER, and as a kid I was definitely the oh-my-gosh-it’s-a-needle-retreat-retreat-ahhhh kind of kid so I needed to be sedated. After very thorough instructions to not move and an iPad distraction, they asked me to count to 50 while the sedative did its job. The doctor said no one had ever gotten to 50 and I was almost record crushing. I faded away right after 49. (I didn’t even know I could count that high.)

After my mom gave VERY clear instructions to the doctor to avoid a scar that would create complications in lipstick application in the future, the doctors set to work and took their time with the 4 stitches. And I lived happily ever after, The End.

Okay, glad that sob-fest is over. Next up… the one, the only, ladies and gentlemen…

Miss Hazel Topliff!!! (The crowd applauses and leans forward in their seats.)

Hazel was sitting at her table in her room, rocking back and forth on her chair, when she suddenly stood up. Because she had been rocking in such large movements, the chair was still rocking when she got up. She turned back to the chair, which was still rocking, when it struck her. The evil chair made its move, creating a goose egg on her foot . She limped downstairs, wailing, and after a quick drive to the ER, our protagonist learned that it was just a lump, not serious at all, and that chairs are evil. The End.

Next up… Give him a hand folks! It’s Braaaaaad Topliff!!!

My dad was running up the stairs using the handrail to propel himself and when he got to the zig zaggy halfway landing, and accidentally punched the wall. He heard and felt a popping sound. He didn’t think much of it and continued up the stairs. He started to feel lightheaded but didn’t take it seriously. A few days later, he was carrying a load of boxes to UPS, when the boxes shifted unexpectedly. He quickly adjusted his grasp to prevent the boxes from falling, when a sharp pain shot through his hand. After many discussions (arguments!) with my mother about whether he had seriously hurt himself (and about how fractures and breaks could be the SAME THING), he went to the doctor and discovered that his hand was broken (or fractured.)

Then he got a cast for a few weeks and though he was quite a HAND-ful, we lived happily ever after. The End.

Finally… My mom.

She has had no “worst” injuries worth mentioning. I know, I know, you don’t want to say good bye but unfortunately all good things must come to an end.

Happy Friday!

-Grace

Hey again, remember me? Oh good, because if you didn’t I would have to introduce me all over again and then there wouldn’t be any time for this post.

As we get farther into this blog you may need some help understanding my 2-year-old brother, Doc. Here is a very helpful translation chart for whenever you get stuck.

Anyway, I know why you are all here, and right about now you are thinking about how this blog is such a rip off because you wanted to see pictures of Doc. Be warned, I do not disappoint.

And…

Then Finally…

Doc had such fun yesterday, collecting eggs, eating sugar, reading his new Elmo book, and eating sugar. After we ate our chocolate chip waffles and two chocolate easter eggs, we found Doc in the living room spinning around in circles (he was on a sugar high), then laughing hysterically when he repeatedly fell down.

He also LOVES his new bouncy house and continuously asked Hazel and me to come jump with him. We jumped for half an hour or so and when we were done, our hair was definitely static-y. (Thanks a lot bouncy house!)

Happy quarant-easter to all of you!

Bye y’all

-Grace