Okay. First off: Pirates. Can’t live with ’em, can’t live without ’em.

Doc is obessed.There is no other way to put it. He is armed with a pirate raincoat, pirate rain boots, pirate legos, pirate tv shows, and pirate maps. If it has anything to do with pirates, Doc is your guy. (Please note:we do not own parrots. Due to lack of crackers in the Topliff household it does not meet all of the requirements in the Pirate Parrot Code of Conduct Rulebook. Page: 13 Paragraph: 2 Line: 4, if you were wondering.)

Did I mention Doc loves Pirates? No? Well, Doc loves Pirates. He loves GEASHURE maps, too! And no, not TREASURE maps. Geashure maps. There is a difference, I mean, come on! (I really don’t think there is a difference, but Doc insists!) I recently made him a pirate map that he went crazy over. The only thing I heard for the next two days were: Gacie have Geashure Map? Find Geashure box wiff Gacie?

Millie also likes Geashure maps, she thinks they make good chew toys.

Speaking of Millie, she has been super cute this past week!

From sleeping in our parents bed:

To snuggling with my mom during movie night:

She has been so sweet! I remember when we first got her! (She came from a litter of 10!)

She stood out like a Millie in a crowd of Scruffys.

I remember seeing her for the first time like it was yesterday…

She had such a pink nose, and from them moment Scruffy saw her he new, right then and there, that he was going to be the most annoying brother ever.

Nothing like 1 toddler, a hyper puppy, and a resource hog-dog in quarantine, am I right or am I right!

In other news, I haven’t told my daily embarrassing Topliff family lifestyle story yet! This week’s topic…

HALLOWEEN COSTUMES!!! Every year for many years my mom made our costumes. And we WEREN’T allowed to be characters from books or movies. That was my fault. At my friend’s birthday party, when I was 4, I got a t-shirt with the Frozen characters. My parents had to fight me to take it off! So from then on my parents expected a crazy brawl if any character outfit whatsoever got into me or my sibling’s grasp. Basically, no characters. We came up with some pretty ingenious ideas…. These are all of the halloween costume photos we could find of me. (My family members are in a lot of them.) I am missing the 2016 halloween costume photo.

That was almost all of the costumes throughout my lifetime. Twelve years of great ideas and free candy! This next costume isn’t of me but I’m going to assume that it is quite the crowd pleaser!

I have to go, but it has been fun reliving all of those moments with you!

Happy (very early) Halloween!

-Grace

During quarantine a lot of people have been eating more. In fact, studies show that when a human eats their regular serving of food a day, then suddenly eat double that… You know what, I’m not gonna make you go through that. On with the embarrassing blog posts of my life.

Well first off, I’d like to share what has been on the Topliff Menu these past weeks. (Keep in mind that this is opposite week.) We have been eating spinach, artichokes, kale, all that good stuff.

You don’t believe me? Well see for yourself…

(Please note that the delectable image on the top is a fine example of the delicious peanut butter and apple appetizer.) Doc seems to wildly enjoy our menu. Speaking of Doc, here is the latest Doc update:

Also, a few nights ago, I heard what may have been the funniest Grace-as-a-baby-story ever. Even thinking about it makes me crack up. When I heard the story I actually CRIED, it was so funny!

It all started when I was on my small play structure (this was when I lived in California and loved to play on my small rinky dink plastic play structure. Small backstory: I went to a little preschool called Bright Beginnings, where they taught the basics for Spanish, and as a 2 or 3 year old I was okay at it. I remembered lots of small words in Spanish). So I was playing on my play structure and I kept saying ayúdame (eye-u-da-may) over and over and over again. My parents were inside and thought, awwwww, Grace has an imaginary friend named ayúdame, how cute. Then my parents came outside to see me play. But funny thing how ayúdame means help me in Spanish. My boot got stuck on the play structure and I couldn’t pull it free so I was using the word I had learned to call for help but they didn’t understand the call because they don’t come to preschool with me so none of them knew Spanish and didn’t come out to help poor little Grace with her “imaginary friend” named ayúdame. 🙁

But enough about me. It is time to say NO to everything because it is… say NO day!!!

(Now you may be wondering, says who? I can say yes if I want. Well, says Doc.)

HAPPY SAY NO DAY!!!!!!!!!

I am so sorry that we have to spent this joyous holiday in quarantine but I do hope you do something fun to celebrate this week. In fact, that is your homework for this week: do something fun, go on a walk, annoy your parents to death, watch a family show, annoy your parents to death, any of those fun things. I encourage you to try all of them.

Anyway. Quarantine has been tough. And sometimes you feel like this:

Or this:

Or even sometimes this:

Sometimes you even feel like all of them at the same time. (I’m talking about me.)

And though I am sad to end this post, I have to go. I really need to pack!

We’re going to Hawaii for vacation!

JUST KIDDING! I wish : ( See you next time.

-Grace

I bet you can guess what this post is going to be about!

HOW TO MAKE THE WORLD’S BEST CARROT CAKE

Haha. just kidding. That’s right, the Topliff Hall of Fame for worst injuries! who will go first?

Hmmm…

Let’s see. How about Doc.

My dad was bathing Doc and I was sitting next to my dad, asking him a few questions for a school project. My dad was in the middle of answering my question when we heard a splash followed by a wail. We turned and saw that Doc had slipped in the bathtub and bit his lip. We took him out of the water and carried him down in a bundle of towels and blankets. Three episodes of Sesame Street and one oversized ice pack later the incident had been forgotten. (At least by Doc.) To this day we keep in mind the consequences of not paying 100% attention to the two-year-old with the wild gleam in his eye.

And next up…

(Brace yourself)

Me!

I was at our swim club, Hazel was doing with her swimming lesson and I was done with mine. I was too small for the big water slide but too big for the small one. With nothing to do I decided to go on the slide that was too small. (At this point you may be feeling like this is a recap of Goldilocks and the Three Bears, but hang in there, you’ll see!) When I was halfway down the slide, a toddler decided to pass the bottom of it, and if I kept sliding, I would have knocked her down. So as the kind and courteous six-year-old I was, I let her pass. The kid behind me was starting to get impatient and slid down while I was waiting for the toddler. I hit the bottom of the 1-1/2-foot deep pool and bit through my lip. Which led to an adrenaline-fueled drive to Urgent Care. Urgent care turned into the ER, and as a kid I was definitely the oh-my-gosh-it’s-a-needle-retreat-retreat-ahhhh kind of kid so I needed to be sedated. After very thorough instructions to not move and an iPad distraction, they asked me to count to 50 while the sedative did its job. The doctor said no one had ever gotten to 50 and I was almost record crushing. I faded away right after 49. (I didn’t even know I could count that high.)

After my mom gave VERY clear instructions to the doctor to avoid a scar that would create complications in lipstick application in the future, the doctors set to work and took their time with the 4 stitches. And I lived happily ever after, The End.

Okay, glad that sob-fest is over. Next up… the one, the only, ladies and gentlemen…

Miss Hazel Topliff!!! (The crowd applauses and leans forward in their seats.)

Hazel was sitting at her table in her room, rocking back and forth on her chair, when she suddenly stood up. Because she had been rocking in such large movements, the chair was still rocking when she got up. She turned back to the chair, which was still rocking, when it struck her. The evil chair made its move, creating a goose egg on her foot . She limped downstairs, wailing, and after a quick drive to the ER, our protagonist learned that it was just a lump, not serious at all, and that chairs are evil. The End.

Next up… Give him a hand folks! It’s Braaaaaad Topliff!!!

My dad was running up the stairs using the handrail to propel himself and when he got to the zig zaggy halfway landing, and accidentally punched the wall. He heard and felt a popping sound. He didn’t think much of it and continued up the stairs. He started to feel lightheaded but didn’t take it seriously. A few days later, he was carrying a load of boxes to UPS, when the boxes shifted unexpectedly. He quickly adjusted his grasp to prevent the boxes from falling, when a sharp pain shot through his hand. After many discussions (arguments!) with my mother about whether he had seriously hurt himself (and about how fractures and breaks could be the SAME THING), he went to the doctor and discovered that his hand was broken (or fractured.)

Then he got a cast for a few weeks and though he was quite a HAND-ful, we lived happily ever after. The End.

Finally… My mom.

She has had no “worst” injuries worth mentioning. I know, I know, you don’t want to say good bye but unfortunately all good things must come to an end.

Happy Friday!

-Grace